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Your Goal Should Not Be "To Win"

Yep, you read that right. I don't want your only goal to be "to win".


Sure, that can be one of your goals going into your competition, but I don't want that to be your only goal.


When I work with my clients, we set intentions both big and small, but we make sure to set intentions that have absolutely nothing to do with winning the crown. And here's why --


The scores that the judges write down have nothing to do with your success or your worth. We've all heard the phrase, "different judges, different day, different winner." And I believe that's true. But ALSO, the panel that just met you and had all of 20 minutes of combined facetime with you doesn't get to hold power over you to determine your value.


If you're getting ready for state season - I'll give you the challenge I give my girls:


(You can do this literally the night before the competition week kicks off, or this can be something you meditate on for a few weeks before.)


I want you to set a few goals that have nothing to do with how you place, or if you win Miss (State).


How do you want to feel when you come out of your interview? What do you want to convey to the audience as you perform your talent? Do you want to make a new friend while you’re there or be fully present while you’re onstage in your gown? Do you want to crush the opening number or maintain a positive outlook among the curveballs of the week?


Make a list of a handful of goals that are 100% (or at least 85%) within your control. Yes, you'll make memories that will last a lifetime, but what are your intentions behind those interactions and experiences?


Take a few minutes to consider some goals that don’t have to do with the judge’s scores, and either keep a mental note or actually make notes and write them down. If you feel comfortable sharing them with a friend or coach, they can both help keep you accountable and also celebrate those wins with you no matter the outcome of the competition.


So while it's totally okay to want to win, and have a drive towards that crown, I really don't want that to be your only goal. I don't even want to focus on hitting the semi-finals or top 5. Because at the end of the day, only one girl walks away with the coveted title, and the rest of us go on being us. And being us is so special, and valuable, and worthy - no matter what sash we wear across our hearts. Remember that, and you'll always be a queen in my book ✨




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